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<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
A chap walked into his local bar on a rainy Thursday evening and ordered a vodka and coke.<\/p>\n
The barman served him and watched as he drank it in one gulp.<\/p>\n
“Another,” the man said.<\/p>\n
The barman shrugged and poured another.<\/p>\n
The man drank that one too.<\/p>\n
Then another.<\/p>\n
And another.<\/p>\n
After the fifth drink, the barman noticed something strange. The fellow wasn’t getting louder like most customers. He was getting quieter.<\/p>\n
His shoulders slumped lower with each glass.<\/p>\n
His eyes kept drifting toward the window.<\/p>\n
Eventually, the barman leaned across the counter.<\/p>\n
“Everything alright, mate?”<\/p>\n
The man sighed.<\/p>\n
“Not really.”<\/p>\n
“Trouble at work?”<\/p>\n
“No.”<\/p>\n
“Money problems?”<\/p>\n
“No.”<\/p>\n
“Family?”<\/p>\n
The man nodded slowly.<\/p>\n
“I had the biggest argument of my life with my wife.”<\/p>\n
The barman raised an eyebrow.<\/p>\n
“That bad?”<\/p>\n
“Worse.”<\/p>\n
The man stared into his glass.<\/p>\n
“She told me she wouldn’t speak to me for a whole month.”<\/p>\n
The barman chuckled.<\/p>\n
“Sounds peaceful.”<\/p>\n
“That’s what everyone says.”<\/p>\n
The man ordered another drink.<\/p>\n
The barman poured it.<\/p>\n
“So why are you looking so miserable?”<\/p>\n
The man checked his watch and groaned.<\/p>\n
“Because today is the last day.”<\/p>\n
The barman burst out laughing.<\/p>\n
The other customers nearby started laughing too.<\/p>\n
But the man wasn’t finished.<\/p>\n
“You don’t understand.”<\/p>\n
“What?”<\/p>\n
“My wife keeps her promises.”<\/p>\n
The entire bar laughed even harder.<\/p>\n
Just then, the front door swung open.<\/p>\n
A woman marched in with the determination of a general leading an army.<\/p>\n
The man froze.<\/p>\n
“Speak of the devil,” muttered the barman.<\/p>\n
The woman walked straight to her husband.<\/p>\n
The bar fell silent.<\/p>\n
She looked him in the eye.<\/p>\n
The husband braced himself.<\/p>\n
Then she said,<\/p>\n
“Good news.”<\/p>\n
The man’s face lit up.<\/p>\n
“You’re extending it another month?”<\/p>\n
“No.”<\/p>\n
His smile disappeared.<\/p>\n
“What then?”<\/p>\n
She smiled sweetly.<\/p>\n
“I’ve spent the last month making a list of everything I wanted to say.”<\/p>\n
The husband went pale.<\/p>\n
The barman quietly removed the bottle from in front of him.<\/p>\n
“You’re going to need something stronger than vodka and coke, mate.”<\/p>\n
And according to local legend, the wife was still talking when the bar closed.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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