A chap walked into his local bar on a rainy Thursday evening and ordered a vodka and coke.
The barman served him and watched as he drank it in one gulp.
“Another,” the man said.
The barman shrugged and poured another.
The man drank that one too.
Then another.
And another.
After the fifth drink, the barman noticed something strange. The fellow wasn’t getting louder like most customers. He was getting quieter.
His shoulders slumped lower with each glass.
His eyes kept drifting toward the window.
Eventually, the barman leaned across the counter.
“Everything alright, mate?”
The man sighed.
“Not really.”
“Trouble at work?”
“No.”
“Money problems?”
“No.”
“Family?”
The man nodded slowly.
“I had the biggest argument of my life with my wife.”
The barman raised an eyebrow.
“That bad?”
“Worse.”
The man stared into his glass.
“She told me she wouldn’t speak to me for a whole month.”
The barman chuckled.
“Sounds peaceful.”
“That’s what everyone says.”
The man ordered another drink.
The barman poured it.
“So why are you looking so miserable?”
The man checked his watch and groaned.
“Because today is the last day.”
The barman burst out laughing.
The other customers nearby started laughing too.
But the man wasn’t finished.
“You don’t understand.”
“What?”
“My wife keeps her promises.”
The entire bar laughed even harder.
Just then, the front door swung open.
A woman marched in with the determination of a general leading an army.
The man froze.
“Speak of the devil,” muttered the barman.
The woman walked straight to her husband.
The bar fell silent.
She looked him in the eye.
The husband braced himself.
Then she said,
“Good news.”
The man’s face lit up.
“You’re extending it another month?”
“No.”
His smile disappeared.
“What then?”
She smiled sweetly.
“I’ve spent the last month making a list of everything I wanted to say.”
The husband went pale.
The barman quietly removed the bottle from in front of him.
“You’re going to need something stronger than vodka and coke, mate.”
And according to local legend, the wife was still talking when the bar closed.
